Thursday, June 3, 2010

Court Date

It was 7:40 am. I needed to get dressed and get going. I had to be in court at 9:00 am. No I am not on trial for murder or anything like that. That would be far less aggravating. No I was going to court for probably the 13th or 14th time so that my ex-husband could try to get his child support changed. He has taken me to court every few years for the past 13 years to tell the judge he can’t afford to pay child support. For the sake of this blog I am going to call him by his given name…DH. Ok, ok, I am the one that gave him that name. I am sure some of you can figure out why. I was going to tell you, but I don’t want to offend anyone.

Anyway whenever DH quits or loses a job, which can be often, he feels he can no longer “afford” to pay child support. Apparently when one is unemployed all of their children’s needs stop. They no longer need school supplies or new shoes or even food.

At one of these court appearances the judge asked DH why he doesn’t just get another job. “I can’t”, said DH. “I have to spend all of my time coming to court for this.” So let me get this straight…he can’t get a job because he has to go to court to explain that he can’t pay child support because he doesn’t have a job. It makes my head spin.

So as I walked into the courthouse and approach the metal detectors I found it hard to breath. Not because I am afraid of the metal detector. No, I had already removed my knife from my pocket and left it in the car. No, I am just so sick of this process, sick of the bull, sick of not knowing what lies are going to come out of DH’s mouth.

I have this theory about people like DH. I figure that all souls in heaven are pure and good. So why is it then that some people on earth are jerks, troublemakers and worse? I think that before these people are born, these souls volunteer to come down to earth to play the role of antagonist – the ass, knowing full well the other people will hate them. It is sort of like the actress playing the bitch on a soap opera. It moves the story along and it helps us grow and get stronger. Being here on earth is like a schoolroom for our souls. But for the most part we don’t learn and grow from the fun, good experiences. We learn and grow and get stronger from the pain and difficulties. That is where people like DH come in. They cause pain and difficulties. They throw roadblocks into our lives, that we have to learn to get around. They help us grow and get stronger. So maybe I should thank DH for volunteering to come into this world as such a jerk and for making my life difficult. He has done it for the last 20 years, and he has done a great job of it.

Sooo….from now on I am going to refer to all jerks and troublemakers as "soul-growers". Let’s all start using that term and see if we can get it to catch on.

I would love to hear your thoughts about what I am writing here. Let me know if you like it, find it interesting, or hate it. (Ok, not that last thing.) Please leave me comments.

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Julie said...

Hi Joy, I found your entry very interesting! At first, I thought you were calling him Dear Husband!! But then I figured it out!! I am kidding, I knew from the beginning. I really like your theory about soul growers. It is a very interesting way of looking at it...I have never quite thought of it that way. It may make it easier to deal with people like that, now that you know what they are trying to do! Looking forward to your next entry and I always enJOY your art work!! What a gift you have!
Take care, Love, Julie

RUDHI - Chance said...

Your decision to see the 'Bad people as *soul-growers* is as JOYful as your art is! Thanks, JOY...